Grow Up

I don’t try to eavesdrop. Really, I don’t. But on a college campus, people decide to walk right behind you and talk obnoxiously loud. And most of the conversations I hear are so incredibly painful to listen to. I’ll make this clear now, this is more of a rant than anything else. I’ll get to a clear point eventually, but at the moment I’m going to complain about some stuff. There are so many things about the conversations people have on campus that drive me crazy.

First off, why are you having this conversation in public? Seriously, no one really needs to hear about how much you drank this weekend, all the terrible decisions you made, how stupid this guy is being and how he’s not talking to you any more, or any of the other myriad of random crap that people tend to blurt out in public. As just another person walking by, I don’t want to hear all the gory details of your sex life and the party this last weekend. I really couldn’t careless, and you’re pretty much forcing me to listen to it. It’s difficult to not listen to it when you’re screaming in my ear right behind me. Which leads me to my next point.

Why are you so loud? If you were having this conversation in public at a volume that would require someone to actually eavesdrop in order to hear it, that would be one thing. That’s not an issue at all. That’s something normal human beings do. But you’re not doing that. You’re shouting about everything and all the details about all the stuff that no one cares about. There are inside voices and outside voices, but there are some conversations that require an inside voice even when we’re outside. You just need to turn it down a couple notches and chill out. If you could whisper, that would be great, if you could just not talk at all that would be incredible, but if you could just talk at a normal speaking volume for a human being, that alone would be amazing. Seriously, no one wants to listen to the pointless stuff you’re whining about. Which, finally, leads to a legitimate point I’m trying to make.

The things I hear in these conversations that people are subjecting me to usually have a running theme: My life sucks because x, y, z, and it’s all this person’s fault, I’m not to blame. In this equation, we’ll have x equal “I keep drinking every weekend and bad things happen,” we’ll have y equal “my friend is being a terrible person and making my life miserable,” and we’ll have z equal “guys keep breaking my heart.” I’m not trying to be judgmental here, really. I’m taking things directly from conversations I’ve heard. From what I can usually gather, it doesn’t sound like the people complaining about these problems I’ve mentioned are really doing anything about it. It sounds like the people who hate all the things that happen when they drink and party are planning on doing the same thing this coming weekend, the people who have terrible friends either aren’t trying to mend the relationship or are continuing to subject themselves to the treatment they’re receiving, and the people who have had their heart broken numerous times are looking for the next guy after swearing off guys forever and whispering how hot the guy that just passed them was in the same breath. And then, to top all of it off, none of this is their fault. It’s always the fault of the people around them. What seems wrong about this scenario?

Albert Einstein defined insanity as “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Going off of this definition, all of these people I overhear walking across campus are insane. They just keep doing the same thing over and over, thinking to themselves, “This time it’ll be different. This time things won’t turn out the way they always have.” There’s another word I like to use to define this behavior: immaturity. Seriously, people, GROW UP. One of the ways children learn right from wrong is by experiencing consequences for their actions. Eventually they make the connection that said consequences come about when they do certain things, so, logically, they stop doing them to avoid said consequences. People in their teen years to mid-twenties apparently don’t have the logical reasoning of a toddler. Instead of seeing the consequences of their actions and avoiding the problem, they continue to do stupid things.

So here’s my point: If you’re going to complain about the things that happen to you that you’ve been bringing upon yourself, do something about it. If you’re not going to do something about it, shut up, stop complaining, and suck it up. If I become morbidly obese, whining and crying about it is going to make it better, right? I’ll start slimming down, lose weight, and be totally healthy again. Apparently that’s the logic people follow. There’s a lot of healing and recovery that needs to happen in order for things to improve. And the first step is getting away from the choices and lifestyle that are causing the bad things to happen.

If you hate how things turn out every time you drink, here’s a simple solution: STOP DRINKING. If you’re an alcoholic, that’s a different issue that I’m not going to touch. But if you’re one of these people that decides to get completely wasted every weekend, the easiest solution is…Well, to not. It’s not that difficult. Make a conscious decision to not get totally hammered, and you won’t end up with the consequences of getting totally hammered. Logic. If you have really crappy relationships with your “friends” or whatever, one of two things needs to happen: Either you need to put some effort into mending the relationship, because expecting the other person to do all the work is incredibly stupid (and not the definition of a friendship by any means of the imagination) or it may be time to drop the relationship altogether for the time being. It may be a fact that you don’t get along very well and your personalities don’t blend in a way conducive to a friendly relationship. Maybe both of you just have some maturing and growing up to do. And maybe the time comes when you decide you can be friends again. But if not, odds are you’re both better off not inadvertently ruining each others’ lives. And lastly, if you keep getting your heart broken by guys or the other way around, here’s a simple solution: Take a break. Stop searching for the next relationship expecting it to be different. If it’s something that has happened multiple times, there’s a possibility you might be the problem. I probably offended some people just now, but it’s the truth. You probably have some maturing to do before you’re actually ready for a committed relationship. Taking some time off to work on and develop yourself is better than having that same feeling of betrayal and heartbreak over and over again. Plus you’ll be a lot less wounded and broken in the long run.

So here’s my basic conclusion: Talk quieter, stop complaining about stuff that doesn’t matter, and if you’re going to complain, you better be ready to do something about it. Because whining and crying about something you don’t have any intention of changing is incredibly pointless and just leaves people like me that have to listen to you frustrated and annoyed.

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